Bags...they come in all shapes, sizes, colors, styles, patterns, fabrics, materials. Bags...they're used by toddlers, kindergarteners, teachers, librarians, soccer moms, dancers, gymnasts, businessmen, college students. Bags...they're used by the rich, the poor, the homeless, the religious, the nonreligious, the sentimental, the stoic. Bags...they're found at department stores, resale stores, thrift stores, 5th Avenue. Bags...insulated, straps, buttons, zippers, magnets, wheels, handles. Bags...they're the Mary Poppins magical carpet-bag kind, the cute little blinged bags for homecoming dances kind, the black leather all-business kind, the business logo kind, the church-goer kind, the catch-all kind, the I-don't-care-what-kind because I'm running late and need something to stuff some diapers in really quick kind.
Bags.
I've been using them for all time (or at least the portion of time that I could remember anything long-term). I have always been the organized, detailed, plan-ahead (with a backup plan, too, just in case), and have tried to keep things smooth-sailing since I could tell time (and having meltdowns in kindergarten when I realized my entire day was derailed because I was somehow 5-minutes behind schedule and I should just sit down and cry because I was never going to get back on track!!!!). I have used bags for keeping crafts systematically organized and maintained (also since Kindergarten when I learned to knit), and then of course for school work, lugging 40 lbs worth of textbooks around to keep my grades on the honors track. I used bags for marching band, track, Girl Scouts, clubs of various kinds, and more. I have been to college five times and I have used five different kinds of bags (because a backpack was outdated, in my mind, when I finally owned a LAPTOP! :D). I had a bag for lunch and snacks, and bags to hold other bags.
I became a mother at a younger-than-average age and I became even more reliant on bags. The first diaper bag I ever owned became my backup for my backup plan...and if the kitchen sink were portable, I would have packed that, too!). I had double or triple of everything because what would happen if the first receiving blanket, or bib, or whatnot became soiled or unsanitary and I couldn't bring the washing machine?!?
Becoming a mother, a teacher, a student, nearly always simultaneously, made bags become my normal, because when were we home, really? The kids and I were always on the go. So bags was what we lived from...that and the car.
Since the beginning of Esther's fight against DIPG/DMG in May, I have been through all kinds of bags, trying to survive day-to-day (or better yet, hour-to-hour), and they're how I try to make sense of this new normal and maintain a little bit of control, organization, and autonomy over the situation(s!). I have used the trial and error system to figure out just the best kind of bag system to make our new life work (sorta) for us. At St. Jude, we had the wagon kind of bags, and hooks and clips to hold and hang all those bags from to make hospital "road trips" with a baby and a 5-year old under anesthesia every day as bearable as possible. When traveling back and forth from hospital to hospital or hospital to home, there is another system of bags + suitcases to make airports (and those pesty connecting flights), Uber-ing, driving a rental car, hospital shuttles, and inpatient hospital stays doable. I have packed and unpacked bags, diaper bags, lunch bags, suitcases, duffle bags, backpacks, dance bags, swim bags, "mom" bags, coolers, wagons, strollers, trunks...more times than I could ever count (I'm sure there's a name for that number but only God knows! LOL).
Since being home more often than not for the last couple of months finally, I have adjusted, expanded, revised, thrown out, started anew, reorganized, retried, (maybe even cried), over and over again until (I think) I have achieved success in packing what we need for appointment and special event "road trips" on nearly a daily basis. The current system involves my purse, my "mom" bag with bottle holders, Esther's dance bag, Esther's gym/swim bag, Esther's activity backpack on wheels, Esther's lunch box, my lunch box, and Esther's little backpack with her homemade all-natural soap and hand sanitizer/glasses case/water bottle. We pack, load, unload, and unpack all these bags every day we go somewhere. I promise, there is (now) a system to the madness.
I wonder what my story through bags will look like in five, ten, or fifty years from now.
